To Talk Or Not To Talk
by Sandalino Silvio Leif
Summary: Nita's been thinking a lot. Her realationship with Kit is changing, but she seems to be the only one of them who is noticing, and it hurts so bad. Should she tell him? !ON!HOLD! til I finish PWI


To Talk or Not to Talk, That is the Question  
  
A/N: and Disclaimer: I own neither the young wizards series nor the song "I can't be your friend anymore". Both belong to other individuals far wealthier than I. The book series belongs to Diane Duane and the song to ... ... Well I'm not sure who owns the song but I will find out.... eventually. Please review. I don't own the quote I parodied for my title either. That's Shakespeare. Everything else is my own work.... I think. If someone notices something else that should be mentioned please tell me.  
  
PS things in single quotes '...' are consciences.   
  
Not fair. This was so, defiantly not fair. This was so, so, defiantly not fair. This was so, so, so, defiant--- 'Alright already I get the unfairness of it!' snapped her conscience. 'And so will he if you don't keep your thoughts a little quieter!' That shut her up. She defiantly didn't want him to know. Or did she? No she defiantly didn't. Then again, things would be so much simpler if he knew. But he might not like her at all anymore if he knew. So it was best that he didn't.  
  
But she couldn't just ignore it. It had started to interfere with her spelling. Twice now she had come very close to writing or saying something incorrectly in the speech that would get them both killed. _He has to be blind! How can he not notice!_ But he didn't seem to notice at all. Nope, he just kept right on speaking or writing or whatever.  
  
And it wasn't just her wizardry. She hurt. It hurt deep inside every time he would take her hand for something and pull away. Or at the end of a spell, when their voices dropped the perfect mesh they had held. And she knew he didn't notice. He was her best friend, Her only friend. Maybe a friend isn't what she needed. After all this friendship was hurting way too much.   
  
This might come as quite a shock  
  
But I've given it a lot of thought

This thing that's come between us

Can't be ignored.

I've taken all I can

This is where it's gotta end

'Cause I can't be your friend anymore.  
  
But how could she explain it to him? They'd been just friends, good friends, but just friends, for so long and through so much it was just one of those things to wizards. One of those things as in Albert Einstein was a genius and Adolph Hitler was an evil fanatic. Nita and Kit were a team. End of story. True they were also the best of friends. They were over at each other's houses all the time and they did go almost everywhere together. To school, the planetarium, Tom and Carl's house, the beach, the moon, under the ocean, mars, the moon, Rirhath B, on foreign exchange trips to other solar systems, and the moon.  
  
They had faced the lone one seven times and survived all seven. Yes, there were some times just one or the other had been the boost or whatever. Kit showing up in Ireland, Nita performing the shield spells on Dairines ordeal, Kit's befriending the Lotus, or Nita changing the lone one's name. And there were also times when the only reason the universe stuck together was because of their perfect teamwork.  
  
But through it all they had been just friends. Much as she would like to change it, he still thought of them as just friends, and she didn't know how to change it. But she had to. Some how she had to. As soon as she found the right place and time she'd tell him.  
  
And I can't be accused  
  
Of not being there for you.  
  
How many nights have you  
  
Shown up at my door?  
  
I hope you understand  
  
That this wasn't in my plans  
  
But I can't be your friend anymore  
  
The moon. That was where she'd tell him. The perfect place. The absolute perfect place. She would tell him, and maybe, just maybe, he might ----  
  
_BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEEP, BEE_----  
  
_**SLAM!!!**_  
  
Darn it. If only Dairine would use a softer method to wake herself in the morning. Just because she needed to get up early enough to spend an hour on another planet didn't mean she had to wake up the whole house. Seriously, Roshaun wouldn't mind if she was a little late getting to the palace.  
  
Okay so maybe he would, but still that wasn't any reason to----  
  
"NITA!!! YOUR BOYFRIEND'S HERE!"  
  
"HE'S NOT MY BOYFRIEND!" _much as I'd like him to be_ "I'll be down in a minute Dari and you'd better shut up or I'll be talking about YOUR boyfriend!"  
  
"I don't HAVE one!"  
  
"Oh yeah?! I wonder what you'd call Roshaun..."  
  
"SHUT UP!!"  
  
"Girls, please! This isn't how I like to wake up in the morning! Hello Kit."  
  
Both Nita and her father had just walked into the kitchen. Kit was standing in the doorway.  
  
"Hi Mr. Callahan, Hi Neets."  
  
_Oh lord, that nickname._ That hurt almost as much as their wizadries these days.  
  
"Hi Kit. Whacha doing here? Had breakfast?" Nita surprised herself when none of her inner turmoil translated to her words.  
  
"Not yet. I just got up early and decided to come and steal your breakfast. If you don't mind that is." He said as he stepped into the kitchen."  
  
_Oh Christ, he's cute. No, cute isn't the word. Hot is. Yes, hot will do. Christ, he is hot._  
  
"Not at all." She replied. _How can I mind?_ It looked as if he had run there. His face was slightly flushed and his chest was rising and falling at what seemed a slightly faster rate than usual. Every time he took a deep breath, the fabric of his shirt got tight around his, rather muscular in the last year, upper body.  
  
"Erm," she was at a loss for words for a moment. _Yes. No more staring at his body. Nope. No more._ "I-I'd better go get dressed. Back in a minute." Nita hurriedly left the kitchen to the sound of her dad saying "Feel free to help yourself to our fridge, Kit. Goodness knows we've helped ourselves to yours enough times."  
  
When Nita reached her room, she just stared at herself in the mirror for a moment, before bursting into silent tears. _It hurts so badly!_ To be that close to him and not be able to touch him, to hold him. To see his, in her opinion, handsome face and not be able to kiss it. It was agony.  
  
No matter what he might say, she had to tell him how she felt.  
  
It was killing her.  
  
And it's killin' me to know you without  
  
Havin' a chance to hold you  
  
And all I wanna do is show you how I  
  
Really feel inside  
  
You can run to me  
  
You can laugh at me  
  
Or you can walk right out that door  
  
But I can't be your friend anymore  
  
"Nita. Neets. Nita. NITA!"  
  
"Huh?"  
  
"What's on your mind? You haven't said two words to me since we left your house. Are you mad at me or something?"  
  
Nita looked at Kit. _I can't possibly be mad at him_.  
  
"No Kit, I'm not mad at you. I've just been thinking about a lot this morning."  
  
"Uh-huh. I noticed. Anything you want to talk about?"  
  
Nita panicked for a moment, then answered "Kit... it's kinda girl stuff. "  
  
"Oh." Kit blushed.  
  
_Lord he looks good when he's blushing._  
  
They didn't speak much that day. Apparently, Kit wanted to stay thoroughly out of her "girl stuff". Nita was grateful he took it like that. It made things slightly less painful.  
  
In her last period, math, they were working on problems out of the textbook, so she was able to write a note to Kit. She tried several times to offer an explanation for why he should meet her on the moon, but she found that she couldn't just give him a brief explanation. She settled for a bit of a riddle.  
  
Kit-  
We need to talk. I mean, I need to talk. Meet me on the Moon. Copernicus. Just a warning. Our friendship will change whether or not you show, but please, please come.  
-Nita  
  
Yes, that would do it. She would slip it in his locker before running home. Yes. Everything, or almost everything, that mattered to her was riding on his decision.  
  
_I'll wait for him.  
  
Will he come?  
_  
So baby now it's up to you  
  
Do I win or do I loose?  
  
Will my heart fly or lie broken on the floor?  
  
Well take me as I am  
  
'Cause I wanna be your man  
  
But I can't be your friend anymore  
  
.  
  
And it's killin' me to know you without  
  
Havin' a chance to hold you  
  
And all I wanna do is show you how I  
  
Really feel inside  
  
You can run to me  
  
You can laugh at me  
  
Or you can walk right out that door  
  
But I can't be just friends anymore  
  
We can't be just friends anymore.  
  
A/N: Review! Tell me what you think! I'll post a second chapter from kit's point of view some time this week possibly (but don't quote me on that). I'll use both 'All Dressed Up' by Reba McIntyre and 'Kiss Me Like This' by... umm ... uh ... well ... uh ... I'll find out.  
  
Thanks.


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